Questions I wrote to my father, in ascending order, how disappointed he was to receive them

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Questions I wrote to my father, in ascending order, how disappointed he was to receive them


What is the difference between a 401 (k) and a Roth IRA?

How many Advil and Tylenol can I take at the same time?

My landlord should provide hot water, right?

Is it bad that I don’t worry about being in debt?

Nice to see you! Can you still pick me up from the train station? I should arrive around 3:15 am

Can I void a check by simply tearing it up?

What does “expired warranty extension” mean? And why do these calls always insist I have a car?

Eating a little bit of mold isn’t a big deal, is it?

What year was mom born? Besides, what year were you born in? I do some astrology stuff.

Can you send me Aunt Kathy’s cell phone number?

Can you send me grandma’s cell phone number?

Can you send me my cell phone number? Paranoid, I’m wrong.

Will you be there in three fridays to sign for a package? Have a nice Father’s Day too! I’m sorry your present is a little late.

Does that look like ringworm?

Will it be a problem if something Dijon spills on my tax forms?

You’re still going to my improvisation show next month, right? The theme is “Jane Fonda on the moon”.

Have you changed the password for our Disney + account? My ex boyfriend tries to use it and won’t get in.

Is it bad that I gave the Walgreens checkout my social security number?

Hey, sorry for the news on facebook. What is our Verizon Family Plan information? Telephone dropped in a French press.

Is the market really that terrible right now? One guy on the subway said he knew about a deal on cheap land in far north Maine and I think I could invest. Also, he invited me to visit the country with him this weekend, which is such a nice offer, right?

If, in theory, I’ve eaten way too much weed cookie, should I, in theory, go to the hospital? Happy birthday too !!!

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